


Shaky Ground, Stabilized

by onihunter305



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Comforting Magnus Bane, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt Alec, M/M, Missing Scene, Post Episode: S2E9, Protective Alec, References to S2E8, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 10:17:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10008059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onihunter305/pseuds/onihunter305
Summary: Alec had once been told that he would blow up the very ground he stood on to make things right. If that was true, why did he feel as though the ground below him was disintegrating at the same rapid pace as the relationships he once held dearly.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Missing scene from Episode 9, takes place between when Izzy tells Alec off and when Alec takes back the Institute. Also patches things up between Magnus and Alec slightly because I hate to see them fighting when they only have each other to rely on recently.

Alec roamed the busy streets of New York City with no destination in mind. In the past half hour he felt as though he ruined his exciting whirlwind of a romance with Magnus and lost the respect and love of his baby sister. All with one stupid, hotheaded, punch. 

Alec couldn’t explain his actions. When he had seen Izzy, drugged out on Vampire venom, with Raphael Santiago sucking greedily from her wrist, he saw red. His only objective in that moment was to remove the threat from his sister, and that meant the offending head of the New York Coven. 

The insinuating fight was all a blur to Alec, he remembered punching Raphael away from his sister, getting overtaken by the faster and stronger Downworlder, Izzy running interference so that Alec could once again gain the upper hand, and then it was flashes of pure rage and blood. Looking down at his knuckles he was embarrassed by the blood that stained them.

Then there was Magnus, the man he was growing to love, who magically removed him from his position above the vampire by throwing him back with magic. It hadn’t hurt him physically, just emotionally. His heart hurt at the thought of Magnus choosing Raphael over him, especially after how close they had become lately. 

He had yelled at him, blamed him for something out of his control, and then grabbed Izzy and stormed off. He left Magnus behind, he didn’t even let him explain. He wasn’t sure he wanted his explanation in the first place. 

He expected Izzy to be grateful, she had always been so thankful when he had saved her in the past. But then she was angry, she was fighting him every step they took. She demanded he let her go so she could go back, so she could return to that vampire who had been using her, had been feeding off of her. 

He didn’t understand.

Until she cut Alec in the one place only she could. She told him that Raphael had been there for her, had saved her, where Alec had failed. She threw the fact that he hadn’t noticed something was wrong in his face. And even though it wasn’t true, even though he had been worrying about her for weeks, he couldn’t find it in himself to rally up a defense against her accusations. 

Up until this point Alec had dedicated his whole life to following orders and protecting his siblings. More times that he could count he had thrown himself in front of a blade, a spear, a set of claws, or a pair of fangs to keep them safe. Only to learn he had ultimately failed.

He felt the familiar and unwelcome tendrils of sadness begin to seep into his chest. It was the same feeling he had when he climbed up on the ledge at Magnus’ loft. The feeling that told him he couldn’t do anything right, that no one needed him, and that everyone would be better off without him.

He closed his eyes and tried to fight off the feeling. He hated feeling like that.

In his quiet moment of contemplation he remembered promising Magnus that he would talk to someone if he ever felt like that again. His feet began taking him towards Magnus’ loft, even though there was a good chance he wasn’t there. After all, Alec had just attacked a man that Magnus considered a son.

He found himself sitting on the fire escape, on the balcony, staring out at the ledge he had occupied 48 hours previously. He didn’t feel tempted to get on it again, he hadn’t been lying when he told Magnus he wouldn’t have done it had he been in his right mind. But just looking at it, and remembering the one moment of complete and total freedom he felt when he body entered free-fall, before Magnus sedated him and pulled him back over the edge, made him long for that peace once again. 

He was shocked out of his quiet musing by Magnus’ fearful cry, “Alec!”

He turned his head towards Magnus, expecting to see anger. Expecting him to attack him for hitting his pseudo-son. Or for him to yell, and tell Alec that he wasn’t worth the trouble and that he never wanted to see him again. Instead the Warlock threw himself into Alec, gripping the younger man tightly to his chest. Alec could feel him shake, but he couldn’t understand why.

“What are you doing up here?” Magnus asked, pulling back slightly, his eyes shifting from where Alec had seated himself and the ledge he had been staring at. 

“I’m so sorry,” Alec said, not sure what he was apologizing for but feeling as though he needed to.

“No Alexander, I am sorry. I should have come to you with my suspicions as soon as they had any merit. I know how much Isabelle means to you,” Magnus said, his hand ghosting over Alec’s bloody ones. 

“I shouldn’t have attacked Raphael,” Alec said, trying to figure out how to apologize for something he didn’t feel that bad for even though he knew he had to.

“Maybe you should have. My child knows better than to delve into Shadowhunter blood, even if he thought he was doing it for the right reasons. You love your sister, and the thought of someone hurting her fueled your actions. I understand that. Raphael is no worse for wear, and he has a lot of thinking to do,” Magnus said, blue sparks flowing from his hand as he subtly healed the broken skin on Alec’s knuckles. 

“He said something, before you arrived. He said Aldertree was the one that got Izzy hooked on Yin Fen… after the demon attack…” Alec said, now that his mind was clear he had a better perspective on what happened. And the wheels in his head started turning, thinking like the soldier and strategist he was trained to be. He could feel the pain and sadness that had once occupied his thoughts retreat back, strength replacing it as he drew comfort from Magnus’ presence and touch.

“Alexander…” Magnus began, wanting to make sure the younger man was alright after the night they had. Especially because he found him sitting on the balcony, way to close to the spot he almost lost him.

“I’m not going to say I’m okay, because I’m not. My behaviors, my inability to overcome what happened when I was possessed by that demon, when I killed Jocelyn, are in large part the reason Izzy is as bad as she is right now. If I have been thinking clearly, doing my duty, then I would have been able to intervene sooner. But that is in the past, and although I can’t go back and fix the mistakes I have already made, I can stop myself from making any more,” Alec said, feeling determined to use this new information against Aldertree to make him pay.

“This isn’t your fault, you are not the one to blame for Izzy’s current vampire venom addiction,” Magnus said exasperated and concerned. He didn’t understand how one person could always find a link between a bad situation and himself being the cause. 

“You said it best, I will blow up the very ground I stand on to make things right, so that’s what I’m going to do,” Alec said, throwing Magnus’ words back at him in a matter-of-fact manner.

“As will I Alexander, and I want you to be okay. You may be willing to sacrifice yourself for everyone else, but I’m not as willing,” Magnus said, gripping his newly healed hands tightly.

“But don’t you see Magnus? I need to fix this, and protect Clary. Not only for myself but for you, for us, as well. I just found you, I’m not going to let anyone jeopardize your safety. Aldertree has done that, he has attacked my family, my whole family, and now he is going to pay. He is about to learn how I once controlled the New York Institute, I’m taking it back,” Alec said, a strange calmness coming over him during his speech.

“Alexander,” Magnus said, awed by the man in front of him. The passion in which he spoke about wanting to protect Magnus, warmed his heart. 

“Thank you, for being here, for listening, and for giving me the strength I needed to stand on this shaky ground and take back what’s mine,” Alec said. He smiled at Magnus, the brightness of it melting his heart, before leaning in to grip both sides of his face and pull him in for a kiss. Magnus’ hands found their way to his waist, wanting to hold him there just a little longer. To feel that he was there, and whole, and safe. If only for just a moment. 

“I’m not going to let anything happen to you, I protect my family, and you Magnus, you are part of my family,” Alec said. He flashed one more smile at Magnus before rushing past him and out the door. He had an institute to re-take, and loved ones to protect.

**Author's Note:**

> So Alec in charge at the end of the episode... wow. He was amazing! I'm so glad they are showing a badass side of Alec finally. As for Izzy...not cool to play upon Alec's insecurities just because you have a problem. 
> 
> Her behavior, however, was the inspiration for this story. Knowing how much Alec loves and treasures his relationships with his siblings, I feel like Izzy's attack on his character would mess him up. And he hasn't been in the best emotional place recently so I kind of put him right back in that mindset for a moment before giving him a reason to fight.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


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